"Biting Back takes a compelling look at self-care, setting boundaries, and protecting ourselves from friends, loved ones, enemies, and sometimes even ourselves. Written in a page-turning and warm style, Claudia’s refreshing addition to the self-help shelves offers empowering solutions to effectively remind us to stop inviting troubleinto our homes and souls." -- MELODY BEATTIE, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF CODEPENDENT NO MORE
Multiple Personality Disorder In Vampires
Here is my question: How do I get rid of a vampire in my life who is catty and offensive to me when the two of us are alone, and then when my husband is around she is really cutesy and nice, so he really likes her?
That was the easy question. Here is the difficult one: Did I make her into a vampire?
Talk about efficiency in vampires! It sounds like this one has found a way to feed on your husband's attention and on your frustration about this multiple personality disorder of hers at the same time. I should note here, though, that when we're talking about multiple personality disorder in vampires, what we're really talking about is something we in vampireland refer to as "shapeshifting."
Remember how Dracula could do that -- how he could turn into a bat or a wolf or smoke or whatever? Well, that's what this catty cutsiepie is doing, too: she's using that famously handy vampire power of hers to shift shape so she can feed as much as possible. Two for the price of one, if you will.
Vampires are nothing if not economical.
Don't forget what she is or forget her nature, though: A vampire's appetite is never satisfied (the rules, remember?) AND she is Undead, which is to say that she has no soul, no conscience, and no actual memory of her actions -- and therefore no ability to "reflect" on them.
As to getting rid of shapeshifting vampires: It can be tricky since you might revoke your invitation to her in one shape, then have her show up on your doorstep again in another shape, asking for yet another invitation to get in. And if she catches you on a day you're not paying attention, you might just give her that invitation she's seeking. You see the problem.
The solution, when it comes to these shapeshifting predators, is to turn the light not on them, but on ourselves. In this case you might want to bring your motive for retaining her "friendship" into the light where you can see it clearly. Then ask yourself if the reason you're keeping her around is really worth all this blood-loss to you. Also, while you're in that light, you might want to take a look at your wounds to see exactly where you are so vulnerable and whether -- vampire or no -- you want to heal or strengthen yourself in those areas. Vampires are our little helpers in that way, you know: they lead us, however angrily, into the darkness within -- to the parts of ourselves we've kept hidden and tried our best to deny. They're kind of angels in that way, you know?
And as for your "making her into a vampire" the answer is no. You don't have the power to do that. Only another vampire has the power to do that, and if you still have the ability to turn the light on yourself and look in the mirror, you're not one of those.
Great question! Thanks!
at 2:47 PM