"Biting Back takes a compelling look at self-care, setting boundaries, and protecting ourselves from friends, loved ones, enemies, and sometimes even ourselves. Written in a page-turning and warm style, Claudia’s refreshing addition to the self-help shelves offers empowering solutions to effectively remind us to stop inviting troubleinto our homes and souls." -- MELODY BEATTIE, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF CODEPENDENT NO MORE


The Gratitude-Insatiability Connection

I've been thinking about this condition of insatiability in our vampires and how it relates to my own difficulty in receving things I've not said "thank you" for.

Here's what I'm talking about: Before starting on the road to recovery from my alcoholism, I always found it very difficult to receive compliments. I don't know where I got the idea that it was somehow more attractive to refuse them, but wherever that idea came from, it certainly stuck. It was impossible for anyone to tell me that they thought I was funny or pretty or smart, or even that what I was wearing that day looked good -- without getting some kind of an argument from me. I would disagree, or explain their misunderstanding ("oh that's just a funny story -- anyone could tell it" or "I'll be a lot prettier when I lose 10 pounds!" or "I'm not really smart, I just looked good because no one else was talking" or "this dress was a gift -- I'd never pick out anything this nice myself!" and so on), or just plain ignore the praise. It was practically a reflex with me.

How insulting for the person offering me their gift to have it thrown back in their face that way! Ugh.


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