I have a vampire in my life that I think I'm trying to get to "see herself," but let me tell you what I mean: She may ask me to help clean her attic -- something I don't really want to do -- but as the very willing host, I try to get her to take the hint by doing these things:
- holding my back as if to say "see how hard I've worked and maybe I should stop?
- "Man, look at the time, I haven't had dinner yet, I better go home", etc.
I think that comments and gestures like this should get my point across, like, "See what you're doing to me? Haven't I done enough to help you?" But it's not terribly effective.
What are some words to use to this vampire?
There are lots of reasons for not wanting to be straight with our vampires: maybe we don't like confrontations, or we're afraid they won't like us any more; maybe we feel sorry for them, or we're afraid they'll get mad at us. Perhaps we have an image of ourselves as "generous" that we don't want compromised, or we have an exaggerated sense of responsibility and power. I myself have a fear of getting yelled at by vampires -- they can be so scary! Whatever.
No matter what the reason for offering gestures and excuses instead of just telling them the truth, the fact of the matter is:
Vampires don’t take hints. It’s their special gift.
100% of the time. Always and forever.
Here are some sentence starters that WILL NOT SUCCEED in getting the vampire off our backs:
- I'm not sure...
- I don't think...
- I have to...
- I can't...
But first, here are some gestures that WILL NOT SUCCEED in getting the vampire out of our homes:
- Starting dinner/picking up and dusting around the vampire
- Looking at the clock/making references to things that will be happening "soon"
- Getting ready for bed/talking about how early you have to get up in the morning
- Turning on the television/intently watching the television
- Taking phone calls/making phone calls
- Seeming not to listen/showing no interest in the vampire
Okay, that's it for today. I'll be back tomorrow with Part 2, to talk about the stuff that DOES SUCCEED.